Enjoy that bottle of Mountain Dew while you can, because some day it's going to be illegal.

by The Redneck Republican

Every couple of days something happens that reaffirms my conviction that I would rather go down on Chewbacca's mom than send my daughters to public schools. This week it's the decision by our major soft drink companies to ban on the sale of pop and other soft drinks high in sugar and calories in our nation's great institutions of learning. You might think it ironic that our former Fellatee-In-Chief, a guy who never met a Quarter Pounder (or a slack-jawed female underling) he didn't like, was behind the deal, but it made sense to me. Anytime someone is strong armed into a "doing the right thing for our children" deal, you can smell a DemLib in the background easier than you could smell a Dorito's fart in Rosie O'Donnell's sleeping bag. Before you get all defensive on me, telling me that it's not such a bad deal, that our kids are better off, let me give you one reason why this deal is dumber than Kellie Pickler at a Chinese spelling bee.

Pop helped us to win World War II.

It’s common knowledge that one of the reasons we gave the Japs and the Krauts such a spanking is the widespread use of Coca-Cola by our brave fighting men. Coca-Cola became an icon of that war and symbolized one thing and one thing only: We Are From the Greatest Country in the History of Civilization and We Are Going to Kick Your Ass! How do you think our troops would’ve fared on D-Day if they were fed a steady diet of wheatgrass juice and Vegan Goat Cheese Pizza? Madeline Albright has a better chance of winning a Wet T-Shirt contest. Pop helped make this country #1. All over the world people are drinking Coke and liking it. What the DemLibs want us to do is retreat with our veggie dips and banana cantalope smoothies and watch as the rest of the Coca-Cola drinking and Whopper-inhaling countries grow stronger while our kids sit on their asses learning about oral and anal sex and whatever else the DemLibs see fit to teach them instead of arithmetic and math. So you want your sons and daughters to grow up to become strong fathers and good mothers? Don’t worry they will--as the egg and sperm donors for Ellen Degeneres and Melissa Etheridge’s next love child in the Islamofascist People’s Republic of the United States of America.